Ik was gewaarschuwd. Door mijn moeder, mijn vriendin, mijn vader, mijn collega’s, mijn fysiotherapeut, mijn schoonmoeder, de verkoper van mijn hardloopschoenen, de mug die mij al een week wakker houdt… Door wie niet eigenlijk? Zelfs door de duivel op mijn schouder. ‘Pas je op dat je niet te veel traint?’ Het is niet dat ik niet luisterde. Het is meer dat ik dacht dat ik onoverwinnelijk was.
Helaas dacht mijn bilspier daar anders over.
Middelvinger
Heel langzaam sloop het er in, als een tijger die zijn prooi besluipt (kom op, we steunen niet voor niets WNF). Soms dacht ik dat ik wat hoorde, krakend struikgewas in de verte. Soms dacht ik dat ik wat zag, opvliegende vogels aan de horizon. Signalen van mijn bilspier, subtiele pijnscheuten.
Tijd om te vluchten, tijd om gas terug te nemen. Maar ik stak mijn middelvinger op. No pain, no gain.
Super dom, natuurlijk. Inmiddels train ik al een maand flink met de rem er op. De laatste week heb ik zelfs helemaal niet getraind, los van de nodige rek-, strek- en krachtoefeningen. Dat voelt onwijs onnatuurlijk, zo in aanloop naar Zell am See. Het maakt dat een vervelende gedachte zich in mijn hoofd heeft genesteld: de gedachte dat een jaar knokken en trainen voor niets zijn geweest.
Grootste winst
Tegelijkertijd weet ik dat dat onzin is. Ik ga die Ironman 70.3 echt wel volbrengen. De conditie is goed, de steun van iedereen overweldigend. Het resulteert waarschijnlijk niet in de tijd die ik twee maanden terug in mijn hoofd had. So what!? Had me dit een jaar geleden na mijn diagnose verteld en ik had er direct voor getekend.
Misschien is dat ook wel de grootste winst: hoe lekker is het dat ik me überhaupt over dit soort dingen druk kan maken!?
Ik zie jullie over twee weken in Zell am See, samen met mijn bilspier!
Fokko
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